Acne Scars & Beyond Part 2

Acne Scars & Beyond the Physical Damage that it Causes -Part 2

By Mari Bozozo

Fast forward to my getting out into the real world after graduation, in pursuit of the career and

life that I had been preparing so long for. It was at this time that I had noticed what all of that

acne in college had done to my skin. My eyes were not ready for this horrid sight: On my left

cheek, approximately the size of a fifty cent piece were only what I could describe as moonlike

craters. Later, I learned the proper name for it, ice-pick scars. In my mind, I’d become

disfigured. To compensate for my disfigurement, I began to strategically position the left side of

my face away from others, by turning subtly to the right. It didn’t matter what setting I’d

been in. At work, at social gatherings, even at home amongst family, I was not going to bare my

skin to the world suffering further humiliation. I kept up this charade for an indefinite amount of

time. Then one day it happened. Or should I say that I noticed that it had already happened: My

right cheek had scarred, also!! How did that happen? To my recollection, I did not pick my skin.

I’d swear to it then and now. It has always remained the 8th wonder in my life. Nonetheless, at

that point, I had not one but two acne-scarred cheeks to deal with. Knowing that I was

perpetually scarred for life, I decided to not only abandon any fragment of the self-esteem that I

had remaining, but I also discarded the word from my vocabulary entirely. 

You could say that I lived in a semi-reclusive state from that point forward.
Putting myself out there, while being around others posed too much of a chore for me.
So I avoided it as much as I was afforded to do.

I will candidly admit that for over the last two decades, my self-worth see-sawed around this

issue. My perception of my appearance affected almost every aspect of my life. Mix in my

proclivity to be perfect, and one can only imagine the cross that I bore. The endless mental

imprisonment and self-deprecation did a number on me. I was overtaken by anger and

resentment, as well, even blaming my mother for the acne gene that I inherited.

So naturally, mirrors were public enemy #1, along with those harsh fluorescent office lights. And

direct sunlight? Forget about it. I must have adopted every tactic to shield myself from the

unwarranted stares and attention from the world. Placing my hands near my face while

conversing with someone who may have been a little too close in proximity to where I’d have

been, was my go to. That, and ensuring that I chose the best possible seat in social settings,

also. And I soon learned that restaurants with flattering lighting became my friend.

As far as personal relationships went, I was never short of amazed that with all of the mental,

emotional, and psychological turbulence within, I still managed to attract men. Apparently, my

skin issues were not at all their issues. Regardless, I’m certain that I at least on a subconscious

level, allowed my unhappiness with myself affect the way I related to others. My lack of

confidence interfered with what could have been healthy relationships for me. I made decisions

out of fear and insecurity. And my sense of judgment was compromised on an account of me not

knowing my worth. But I digress. Yes, living with acne scars have had an exhausting, debilitating,

and devastating stronghold on my life. For any of you readers who have been inflicted with acne

and the scarring that it leaves behind, I’m almost certain that you can relate at least to some

aspect or another of my story.

While I experienced the lowest of lows in dealing with this issue, surprisingly my perception of

my appearance has considerably improved for me over the last few years. And it has very little

to do with the conventional methods that are aimed at reducing or eliminating the appearance of

acne scars (although I will be more than happy to delve into this topic in a future post). I’m

referring to my mindset, my attitude. Prayer and self- help resources have helped me

considerably. I also have been blessed enough to have several wise people cross my path who

have reminded me of just WHO I am, and not WHAT I necessarily look like. Ironically, most of

my motivation and inspiration came from my estheticians! Go figure. But make no mistake, the

healing starts with you, in your heart, mind, and spirit. Let’s face it. Acne scars don’t go away

overnight, if ever completely at all. So why not redirect your energy around it by making your

best attempt to enjoy your life nonetheless? I know that it is easier said than done. Believe me,

been there and done that!! However, you must TRY. Relentlessly TRY. How, do you ask? My

philosophy is that there is no one size fits all approach to self-improvement. What may work for

one individual may not necessarily work for another. I can only disclose what has facilitated me

in my healing:

First and foremost, I found the discipline to stop obsessing over my imperfections that I noticed

in the mirror. Ruminating over details out of my control served to only torture me further and

keep me in the abyss of misery. Of course, I had to look in the mirror for grooming and makeup

application purposes. But beyond that, the mirror stayed at bay for the duration of my day. After

staying out of the mirror more, I began to notice that my energy was lighter, channeling me in

the direction of having more productive things to do with my time. I generally began being more

kind to myself, also. Time permitting, I began to indulge in the things that made me feel better

and kept me preoccupied. An invigorating walk, listening to my favorite music, curling up with a

good self-help or mystery book, and/or watching my favorite shows and/or movies, all served to

keep me fueled, so to speak. Catching up with friends for lunch or with a phone call has

always served as a great counterpoint to being down on myself. I also tried therapy a few times.

And with technology being what it is today, a person has a plethora of options in terms of the

ways that a person can connect to a therapist, including Facetime, Skype, text messaging, and

emailing.

In essence, yes, acne scars soul suck, wreak havoc and have the capacity to yank you to your

knees in emotional pain and despair, keeping you there only if you let them. So what can you do

to overcome where you are right now to live your best life despite this hardship? How are

coping? I’d really love to hear from you! Please leave your comments below.

All the Best to you in your quest to finding Happier & Healthier skin! Mari