Comparing "Our" Skin to Theirs

Comparing “Our” Skin to Theirs
By Mari Bozozo

Have you ever found yourself randomly gawking at someone for no other reason than to admire
(well, more like envy) their perfection personified better known as clear and smooth skin? I know
that I have. I would also ask myself, “Why were they blessed with the good skin gene, and I
have not? It’s just not fair!” As with a variety of other plights that we all have and continue to
endure, being stricken with a chronic skin problem such as acne makes life grossly unfair, also.
You all may very well know, and probably from firsthand experience to boot, acne not only
impacts an individual physically, but it also packs a pretty mean punch mentally, emotionally,
and psychologically. Being in an almost constant state of unhappiness and self-consciousness,
never being able to fully relax in the presence of others, and overall letting one’s appearance
dictate just how he/she would live life is what acne has done to sufferers by the masses, myself
included. As if that wouldn’t be enough, I’d go that extra mile in martyrdom by comparing my
skin to any and everyone that I’d deem to have better skin than my own. This was the figurative
kick that I gave myself when I was already down. Talk about pouring salt into a festering wound!
Sadly, this had been at least 50% of my reality in having acne. Even on a day where I forced
myself to feel adequate, where I’d temporarily abandon the self-deprecation and restlessness in
my head over my looks, there always seemed to be someone whom I’d stumble across who had
not one single blemish, nor not a care in the world, as a result. At that moment, all I could feel
was envy. I coveted the person who did not have to consistently consume themselves over
which lights to avoid on a daily basis or the person who did not have to deliberate over how
close he’d/she’d allow another into his/her physical space- before the feeling of being “unsafe”
started settling in. Again, I’d inwardly say, “It’s just not fair.”
It’s also not fair to berate oneself for something that is considerably out of your control, either.
To hammer away at your already fleeting self-esteem by pitting yourself against another person
is like cancer to your spirit. It will eat away at you until you have practically nothing left. That is
when anger, resentment, and bitterness begins to manifest. Not toward the other person, per
se, but towards life, period. But isn’t this the case for every individual, and not just for the acne
sufferers of the world? Contemplate the following concept for a moment: Every single person on
this earth has some sort of problem or challenge. No one and I will repeat, no one is walking
around unscathed from this phenomenon called life. In this lifetime, there will always be
challenges, obstacles, setbacks, you name it. Always. Sure some of us go to great lengths to
perpetuate that all is well all of the time, but that could not be further from the truth. We all have
mountains to climb and valleys to get ourselves out of. Take inventory of the people closest to
you- your family and friends. Granted, if they have been open and honest in sharing the details
of their lives with you, can you honestly say that their lives are pristine, and without any
blemishes (no pun intended) whatsoever? I’d be willing to place a friendly wager believing
otherwise. Health problems, weight issues, mental disorders, including depression and anxiety,
and financial woes are just a few of the issues that pose a stranglehold on our day to day lives.
This leads to my making a very critical point. If you commit this point to memory, especially
when you are tempted to play the comparison game, you will be in the victor’s seat: No one is
perfect. We all have flaws. If you know that we’re all flawed people who lead flawed lives, then
what is your purpose in comparing yourself to someone else? So what someone may have
seemingly better skin than you? Instead of looking into the mirror, try looking through the
corridors of your life in search of things that you are able to celebrate about you. Perhaps you
are highly intelligent, have a successful career, and/or are in a loving relationship? Or maybe
you have wonderful children? Or supportive family and friends? And at the risk of me sounding
totally superficial: What about a beautiful smile? Gorgeous hair? A toned and fit body?
I have a sneaking suspicion that most of the people that you compare yourselves to don’t have
all of these things, maybe not even half of these things. And with the monstrous platform that
social media has gained, coupled with the advanced technology that has allowed photo filter
apps to create “fresh off the runway” looks, virtually anyone can create a nearly perfect
existence, both literally and figuratively. So why compare yourselves to limited perceptions,
falsified imagery, and dishonest rhetoric? It only steals your precious time and energy, serving
as a counterpoint to your healing.
I’ve already accepted that I will not have the best skin in the room. Nevertheless, I am an
invaluable human being, chock full of gifts and talents bursting at the seams. I am not my skin,
nor the condition/appearance of it. And most importantly of all, I APPROVE OF MYSELF. I
repeat: I APPROVE OF MYSELF.
I nonetheless still take pride in looking and feeling my best, so I remain disciplined in taking care
of my skin by getting facials regularly, eating sensibly, taking the necessary supplements, and
exercising. Even when I get a random unwanted pimple, my confidence does not waiver, as I
APPROVE OF MYSELF. If I approve of myself, there will be no room to compare myself to
anyone else. It’s really that simple. Do you agree?
All the Best to you in your quest in having Happier & Healthier skin!
Mari
Los Angeles, USA 13101 Washington Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90066, USA

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